Raising Kindness

I have a boy.

I have an almost 9 year old whose first word was "ball", who reads sports statistics for fun, who likes to wrestle and have nerf gun battles, who thinks bodily functions are appropriate fodder for jokes at the dinner table, and who leaves an endless trail of sweaty socks in his always-energetic wake.

I was unprepared for this.  I decorated his nursery with playful, silly monsters because I couldn't believe that boys were all that different from girls.

Of course, boy or girl, the above complement would cause my heart to swell, but somehow describing our raucous boy it is all the more gratifying.

"Always kind to everyone...makes us try to be better people."  This is my wish for everyone.  Of course, kindness is a practice.  We aren't always going to be kind to everyone.  When we aspire to do so, we are more likely to recognize kindness when it's practiced, and we are likely to notice when we are not kind.  It happens sometimes; we snap at someone, or we deride ourselves with negative self-talk.  There is no need to perpetuate the ugliness by judging or condemning ourselves further; this is a learning experience!  Notice how it makes you feel and, if possible apologize, then redouble your commitment to practice kindness. 

Just like an athlete builds up muscles and muscle memory to thrive in their sport, we can build our kindness muscles.  It takes practice, but it does become easier; even second nature, to show kindness.

****This is NOT just applicable to people who have children!!!  We are, after all, raising ourselves!!*****

I didn't really tell you how to raise kind children, but here's a 2 minute video from my parenting crush, Dr. Christine Carter of the Greater Good Science Center at Berkeley.  You may also want to read (or reread) her post on the practice of loving kindness.

I'm holding you in the light.