Is Leaning Into Peace Stressing You Out?

I have a confession to make.  This "leaning into peace" is kind of stressing me out.  Before I committed to writing for 31 straight days I gave it some serious thought.  I had topic lists galore!  I knew it would require discipline and focus.  I'm kind of a mess and we're only 2 days in!

Following are some of the thoughts that have plagued me and where I have had the greatest opportunity to expand my practice:

• What a phony !  How could I possibly help others cultivate inner-peace when I'm flipping out because well-respected friends have put out links to this blog (of course I want people to read it, but it also makes my stomach twist) 
• Are my mother's Southern Baptist friends freaking out and thinking I've joined a cult? 
• At what point do I introduce different forms of meditation? ...and which first?
• How much or little of my own journey do I share?  
• I had planned to go into so much more detail--is this too fluffy?

Those thoughts have drummed on my consciousness like Chinese water torture.  Fortunately I've been practicing meditation for a while, so here's how I've handled it.

1.  Notice the thought
 "I can't believe I futzed around all day, did all that research to back up what I know to be true (about the effects of meditation on the body and brain) and am changing my post topic at 10 pm!"

2. Notice where in my body I'm feeling the stress
Is my heart racing?  Have I been holding my breath?  Knot in my stomach?

3. Take a deep breath
This isn't a sharp sucking in, but a gentle, deep inhalation through the nose while I imagine that breath washing over my whole body.  As I continue to breathe, I imagine my breath dissolving the tension in my body.

4. Be gentle with myself
Since I've already judged myself,  I give myself a little smile and a mental "it's okay, sweet girl."

5 Give thanks
I am grateful for the opportunity to expand my peace grow those muscles.  I'm grateful that I have a practice and for the authors and teachers who were willing to communicate these techniques to me.  Most of all, I am grateful that I can diffuse a tense situation and spread peace to those around me.

What have your greatest challenges been with starting or re-starting your practice?  Do you have any steps you'd add to mine?  I'd love to hear from you.