Mindfulness with a little Cognitive Therapy

Some days it feels like you're just holding on by the tiniest little nub.

Today is one of those days for me.  On days like this, I have to have perspective.

I don't usually advocate thinking--we create a lot of suffering by thinking.

But sometimes when I start to freak out because things aren't going as planned, I combine my mindfulness with a little cognitive therapy.

1st I remind myself that it's my attachment to my plan and desired outcome that's causing the suffering.

2nd I stop the freak out train by using a little exercise adapted from The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns, MD.

What has me so stressed?  How am I communicating with myself?  Which of the following distortions do I have?

• Am I overgeneralizing by using statements like "I always/never"
• Am I using all or nothing thinking by looking at the situation as if it's black/white?
• Am I jumping to conclusions - assuming people will react negatively or predicting things will turn out badly?
• Am I blowing things out of proportion?  
• Am I labeling? You know, calling myself a dingbat or worse.
• Am I blaming myself for something that is not entirely in my control?

In my journal, I make a note of my initial thought--here's a real live example:

 "I am completely paralyzed!  I can't do anything; there is just too much.  I never finish anything!"

Then I make note of which type of distortions are rearing their ugly heads.  In this example, it's over generalization,  all or nothing thinking, and maybe jumping to conclusions.  

Here's the important part!!  I wish I could remember where I heard this phrase; I SPRINKLE A LITTLE GRACE ON IT!  I smile a little and say to myself, "Oh Misty, take a deep breath and look around.  The sky isn't falling.  You are angry and frustrated with yourself for getting distracted and not following through with your plan.  You did drop the ball, but you also tried to fit too much on your plate today.  It's okay.  You can handle this..."  Then I decide what I can knock off my list and how I can go about taking care of the business at hand with a peaceful heart.  

There is a zen adage that says "You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes every day - unless you are too busy; then you should sit for 1 hour."  When life is coming at you like a speeding train, when your anxiety is high and your heart is racing, when you think there is NO WAY you can spare 1 MINUTE, find a quiet spot and turn your attention inward.  You are so much more than your "to-do" list.  Be gentle with yourself, find your center, and you will create a ripple of peace that spreads to others.

I'm holding you in the light.