Peace is the path

There is no path to peace.  Peace is the path.  For some of you, it has been one week of practicing peace and you have probably found that it can feel pretty muddy. Our minds can seem so crammed full of thoughts and burdens that even the idea that they could ever be clear feels laughable.  But just as muddy water becomes translucent with time and stillness, so will our minds.

Maybe the longest you've been able to focus on your breath was 8 minutes, maybe 3.  That's okay.  It's a practice.

You might notice that you spend the time on your cushion saying prayers or problem solving.  It seems harmless, even productive, and it does make the time go so much faster.  There can be a time for that, but not during your mindfulness practice--it muddies the waters.  It keeps us attached to the chaos and undermines the courage it took for us to come to the cushion in the first place.

You will find that moments of clarity become more and more frequent and last longer and longer.  For now, be diligent.  Be patient.

Smile Breathe and Go Slowly

Go Placidly Amid the Noise and Haste...

"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence."

Sometimes weekends are more hectic than the week; sometimes they provide a time to cocoon.  Whatever your weekend brings, this first line of Max Ehrmann's poem Desiderata provides a gentle reminder to remember the peace that you carry within you.  You might want to write this on a little scrap of paper and carry it with you.  It's a lovely reminder now and like a little love note when it falls out of your pocket or you find it tucked away later.  

Have a safe and restful weekend.  I'm holding you in the light.

I'll Hold You In The Light

“I’ll hold you in the light.”

That’s a Quaker phrase that I cherish.  I often tell friends or acquaintances (yes, acquaintances) that I will hold them in the light.  I really do love people and their stories, which must be obvious because I often come away from a food truck or the bank with a story of a father’s broken hip or the death of a teen-age son.  I find scraps of paper with their names tucked in my wallet and in laundered pockets.  I do hold them in the light--sometimes for years, without knowing the resolution. I’m grateful for each of the stories--I feel like each person or family entrusted me with a treasure. I feel like they can sense my own brokenness and we share that bond.

“I’ll hold you in the light.”

It communicates to the person, “I see your suffering.  I don’t know exactly what you’re going through, but I will hold you with tenderness.  I trust that God knows what you need.”

“I’ll hold you in the light.”

I love the imagery.  It makes me think of turning my face to the sun and feeling the tension melt away.  The lovely thing about this ‘holding in the light’ is that it doesn't require words--it can be done with anyone or any situation at any time.

Far more often than the times I actually say these words, or any words, to someone I just carry out the action in silence--with people I love, with the cashier who seems particularly slow, or the driver of the swanky car that cut me off in the carpool line.  Sometimes I see a softening in the other person, sometimes I don’t, but I always feel my own heart beginning to soften and open and for this I am grateful.

“I’ll hold you in the light.”

Is Leaning Into Peace Stressing You Out?

I have a confession to make.  This "leaning into peace" is kind of stressing me out.  Before I committed to writing for 31 straight days I gave it some serious thought.  I had topic lists galore!  I knew it would require discipline and focus.  I'm kind of a mess and we're only 2 days in!

Following are some of the thoughts that have plagued me and where I have had the greatest opportunity to expand my practice:

• What a phony !  How could I possibly help others cultivate inner-peace when I'm flipping out because well-respected friends have put out links to this blog (of course I want people to read it, but it also makes my stomach twist) 
• Are my mother's Southern Baptist friends freaking out and thinking I've joined a cult? 
• At what point do I introduce different forms of meditation? ...and which first?
• How much or little of my own journey do I share?  
• I had planned to go into so much more detail--is this too fluffy?

Those thoughts have drummed on my consciousness like Chinese water torture.  Fortunately I've been practicing meditation for a while, so here's how I've handled it.

1.  Notice the thought
 "I can't believe I futzed around all day, did all that research to back up what I know to be true (about the effects of meditation on the body and brain) and am changing my post topic at 10 pm!"

2. Notice where in my body I'm feeling the stress
Is my heart racing?  Have I been holding my breath?  Knot in my stomach?

3. Take a deep breath
This isn't a sharp sucking in, but a gentle, deep inhalation through the nose while I imagine that breath washing over my whole body.  As I continue to breathe, I imagine my breath dissolving the tension in my body.

4. Be gentle with myself
Since I've already judged myself,  I give myself a little smile and a mental "it's okay, sweet girl."

5 Give thanks
I am grateful for the opportunity to expand my peace grow those muscles.  I'm grateful that I have a practice and for the authors and teachers who were willing to communicate these techniques to me.  Most of all, I am grateful that I can diffuse a tense situation and spread peace to those around me.

What have your greatest challenges been with starting or re-starting your practice?  Do you have any steps you'd add to mine?  I'd love to hear from you.

Practice, not perfection

To be in the midst of noise, trouble, and hard work and still be calm in your heart--that is why we practice.  We show up on our cushion every day (ideally) and struggle.  We manage to ignore the wisp of hair blowing across our face, we breath into stiffness in our hips or back to dissipate the tension, only to hear the final bell chime and realize our mind has wandered down a rabbit hole and we didn't even realize it!  Our first inclination is to chide ourselves "Gah! That was a terrible session!  I suck!"  Sigh.  We create so much suffering with our need to judge everything as good or bad.  This is a practice.  It is striving to find balance  between holding too tightly and too loosely; between effort and grace.  Every time you sit with intention, you are not only opening your heart, but actually prompting physical changes in your brain.  It is important to practice with gentleness, otherwise, meditation turns into one more thing on our long list of "to do's", one more area of our life where we have to be perfect.  If you are feeling ambitious or have a deep need to get "unstuck", practicing twice a day can provide a greater sense of grounding.  For me, it seems I have less of myself to pull together and center if it's only been half a day since I practiced.

Be patient with yourself.  Practice with precision and compassion.

Let's begin

Okay, Let's Get Started

It really doesn't take anything to begin your practice.  I'm not a "stuff" person (although I do sometimes get giddy when perusing a HuggerMugger catalog) but spending a lot of time searching for the perfect zafu is just procrastination which is a sign of a lazy mind.  Ouch.

I'm going to give a super-striped down set of instructions, not because I don't think you can handle all the detail I find so intriguing (like in ancient Indian texts 4-6 am is considered the Brahamamuhurta, or "God's Time") but because I think we all have SO MUCH information thrown at us every minute of every day that it can be overwhelming.  I will expand on many of these concepts, but feel free to let me know if there's a particular area you want to read about sooner rather than later.

7 Best Ways to Nurture Your Practice

1. Consistency -  While it's true you can practice anywhere, when you're building a habit, it's best to have as much consistency as possible.  Factors you'll want to keep constant include time of day, length of practice, posture, and place.
2. Time - Early morning, before you've checked your email or had time to be distracted by details of the day is often best.  Just before bed is also lovely.  Like any form of exercise (we are exercising the mind here!) practicing for 10 every day is more effective than cramming in an hour once a week.  It is important that you practice with integrity, so if you set your intention to practice for 10 minutes, stopping at 8 minutes one day and 3 the next is slacking.  It gives you leniency that will undermine your practice.   I use this meditation app as my timer, but an egg timer works, too!
3. Space - I love this part.  Choose a little corner that's comfortable and quiet.  It can be in a chair or on the floor.  You will want to clear away any piles of clutter so this is a peaceful spot.  Some people like to keep spiritual texts or symbols close by and it's sometimes helpful to light a candle to denote the beginning of your practice.  A flame is also a compelling spot to fix your gaze.
4. Preparation - Really, this is just whatever you need to do to make yourself comfortable and reduce distractions.  Some people like to wash their face as a form of symbolic cleansing.  I'm a practical girl. If you think icky breath or a stuffy nose that is going to make it tough to focus, then take care of that.  I do some gentle yoga to loosen up so that I'm less distracted by creaky spots once I sit on my cushion.
5. Posture - You may sit on a firm chair with your spine erect, body balanced and feet on the floor.  If you choose to sit in half-lotus (criss-cross applesauce) you'll want to sit on the edge of a folded quilt or firm pillow so that your hips are above your knees.  Your spine should be straight, shoulders down and chin slightly forward.  Hands folded in your lap or palms down on your knees (indicating that you need nothing--we'll talk about not grasping later.)
6. Practice - After a few cleansing breaths, just allow your breath to flow naturally.  You may want to focus on the sound of your breath by mentally saying "so" on the inhale and "hum" on the exhale.  Be gentle with yourself.  When your mind starts to wander, you might imagine the thought as a leaf floating away in a stream or simply say to yourself "thinking" and return your focus to your breath.
7. Be Kind - It takes great courage to begin a meditation practice.  We have been so distracted for so long that it isn't always pleasant to spend time in silence.  If uncomfortable emotions come up, don't judge them or yourself, don't close yourself off from them and try to push them away. Have compassion.  Likewise, when you get that amazing feeling that you have come home to your body and you are completely connected, don't grasp:)  Life is a series of peaks and valleys and, by learning to be at peace in each moment without hanging on or pushing away, we will recognize that neither a peak nor a valley lasts forever and at any given moment we can reduce our suffering and choose peace.

If you haven't already done so you can print out a daily practice tracker here.

I'm here for you.  If anything is unclear, if you have any questions or concerns you may post in the comment section or email me at leaningintopeace@gmail.com.