A big part of cultivating peace is letting go of attachments, but maybe that doesn't make sense. After all, we hear a lot about healthy attachments, and attachment parenting is a good thing, so maybe that phrase, "letting go of attachments" is confusing. Pema Chodron describes it as letting go of things that "hook" you. I like that. Some of our most humongous hooks are around our self-image.
Yesterday a 2nd grader was excited to tell me it was his birthday. That's exciting stuff--he's 7. All of the children nearby were piping up with their ages and birthdays when a boy looked up and said, "how old are YOU?!" I kind of laughed and half-chided him before responding "41 and a half!" "Oh!" he laughed, "I thought maybe you'd say 50!!"
This could have sent me spiraling into depression and, I have to admit, I did think "I've GOT to start wearing sunscreen!" but later, when I was relaying the story to my husband, I thought about the boys perspective. He is at a place in life when birthdays ARE SO AWESOME!! Every day, every minute, that you are older than someone is like a badge of honor. He may very well have thought that I was CRUSHING the birthday game!
Maybe not. but it doesn't really matter.
So often, we hurt because we completely misunderstand what someone is saying. We hear though our own filter. We get defensive. We hurt. We mistakenly place our value outside of ourselves and allow our insecurities to color our thoughts and interactions. Every one of us has value. We all have something to share.
No comments:
Post a Comment